What we think we become!

Our thoughts manifests not at once but somewhere down the lane!

People think childhood is the sweetest phase of life but unfortunately not everyone has a sweet childhood!

The society saw me as a doctor’s daughter and I was treated like a celebrity wherever I went as we lived in a rural area!

But my mom worked tirelessly day and night, my dad was sick and was bedridden most of the time! It was disheartening to see my dad suffering!

As a single daughter with no one to share my fears and doubts, I felt at one stage of life I should build a proper family! A family of my own!

I put all my dreams and aspirations at back seat and worked towards making a family, nothing mattered all I wanted was a family!

After many years I realised there were many things I wanted to pursue in life which I never considered at all…but I have built a beautiful family!

Manifestations are real, our thoughts have power to attract what we want, feed your thoughts and in heart of heart have your desire strongly rooted!

One fine day your thoughts manifest!

Sharing Spaces!

 “ Cooking is an art “

“ Cooking is a therapy”

Yes I’m mulling over these statements, how many of them who cook on daily basis will agree to these lines.

Cooking occasionally for guests or trying out innovative dishes could be real fun.

Day in and day out if you slog in the kitchen, Is it an enjoyable chore?

The morning steaming cup of coffee followed by idli, vada, pongal or whatever then once again lunch with sambar, kootu, porial. Evening cup of tea or coffee once again with snacks and to end the day with rotis and subjis.

Typing this elaborate spread for a day is tiring… how about cooking them?Have you ever given a thought how tedious and time consuming is Indian cooking!

The woman who misses an alarm controls nature’s calls to pack food for the family.

And the woman will be criticised for missing the alarm and not seen as a human.The most unthankful job ever.

Rain or shine, good day or bad day,sick or healthy,stressed or happy nothing matters, cooking goes on and on,thanks to swiggy and zomato that shower care when women in the household are sick.

We could say food is medicine so we are healthy compared to western people and all such stuff.

As we humans evolve in a digital age where women want to excel in their professional front , will these domestic drudgery be shared so that it becomes a labour of love.

In the name of love, sacrifice and motherhood entire life of women is spent in kitchen.

Break the mould and normalise sharing the space with everyone at home.

Sharingthekitchen#cookingisbeyondgender#unheedcriticism#

Seniority and Growth: Reflections on Aging with Grace

 Age, by itself, does not command respect. Respect is earned through deeds, character, and the way one chooses to shape oneself over time. Simply growing older is no guarantee of reverence—an old drunkard spewing venom and hurling abuses, for instance, becomes a tragic caricature rather than a figure of esteem.

Similarly, longevity in a workplace isn’t inherently an achievement. Spending years in the same role without growth can foster complacency, leading to a toxic mindset. Such individuals often overestimate their worth, belittle others, and cling to a false sense of superiority. Yet, the illusion shatters the moment they step outside their comfortable cocoon into an unfamiliar setting, where their true standing becomes evident.

Experience, ideally, should be the foundation of humility and wisdom. It should shape individuals into role models, not people who sprout metaphorical horns of arrogance. True growth lies in evolving gracefully—becoming a source of inspiration, not intimidation.

Aging is inevitable, but how we age is a choice. Like fine wine, we should strive to become richer, mellower, and more refined with time. Let our years add flavour to our personality, not bitterness. After all, the hallmark of true seniority lies in grace, not age.

Inspiring Women Series - 2

 Inspiring Women : 

We all have super heroes in our life, we indulge in the world of fantasy by hearing about them.They have their own charm that make us proud and bring us smile and confidence.Likewise in real life we hear about superhumans whom we look up with awe, one such person is my ammamma (maternal grandmother)Mrs.Ganga.

   I have heard lot of inspirational stories about her and I'm extremely euphoric to share her lineage.My ammama was wife of a land lord and my grandfather is the headman of 18 villages.They were so rich with orchards and fields.My grandfather had two sons from his first wife,after she passed away he married my ammama.She had five children,one son and four daughters.It was a happy family until money created a mess.

     The villagers plotted against my grandfather along with the two sons for the property and there was a feud and clash in the family.It was dangerous to the extent of harming the lives,my grandmother made a very big decision of life,which any woman would dare to take.She decided to leave all the wealth in the village and move to the nearby town with the kids,who were hardly school goers.

       My grandfather was not ready to leave the village, she decided life is more important than money and moved out of the village.It was night time she did not have any money or valuables , she left everything back and walked out of the village with just a lamp which is lighted in the pooja room.She went to her cousin brother's house in town nearby and stayed for few days.She started a petty shop there,just imagine a lady with so much comfort sitting in a petty shop selling candies and titbits.

        The story actually took off from there,she believed in women empowerment right at that time.We could normally see a mother of four daughters will be anxious enough to get her daughters married away as soon as possible.But she is an exception except the eldest daughter rest were sent to school.She never ever pushed them into any hasty decision of getting married.When people came with alliance she turned them back telling all are studying and no one at present is ready to get married.

       The soceity ridiculed at her for sending her daughters to college,but she never bothered and supported her children in their studies.The fruit of her decision produced three professional women my aunt being a staff nurse,my mom a doctor and my younger aunt a teacher.Everyone were economically independent and did not need a man to satisfy their needs,my grandmother's dream was accomplished.What a great feat to marvel about? In our constricted soceity sixty years back...I'm super proud of her and I get goosebumps whenever I think of her decision to throw away her wealth in fit of a second.

She believed education is the greatest wealth though she was not educated.

What a woman!!! 

I love her out of the world!!!

She passed away when I was 4years old...miss you ammama!

Lessons learnt:

Education is wealth.

Money is just a thing and not everything.

Women empowerment.

Courage.

Happy Bhogi!

 Culture #Rituals#Bhogi#Newbeginnings

Every culture has a set of rituals throughout the year.

Rituals are a set of beliefs and practices followed by a group of people.

On the superficial look certain rituals could be brushed away without giving a deeper thought about it,but when it is probed we could decipher great keys that could keep our life on track in this world.

Rituals carry knowledge with them it is not just a boring thing which we do blindly because our elders do it.

We use lot of fancy terms and try to formulate theories for the same, such things are followed for eons without using a terminology.

 For example we have the concept of minimalism, which is to use necessary things for living and not indulging in extravagances.

We have the festival of Bhogi in Tamil culture where we discard the things which we do not use over a period of time.

Every year before the harvest festival of Pongal we celebrate Bhogi.

We welcome plenty of harvest for Pongal which needs space for which old things have to be discarded.

Bhogi is an adieu to everything that has served its purpose.

Celebrate Bhogi every year as a time to reset, alter and change the flow of life.

It is a pause button to weigh our choices, emotions, relationships, career and everything around us.

To start over a fresh beginning it’s always good to ‘let go ‘ certain things though they were precious once.

Every creature has a purpose we could hold on to it not eternally but till the time allotted to us.

‘Forever is a myth’ so though it hurts  ‘let go’.

Make the world beautiful by your evolving presence and welcome new beginnings.

Do not stagnate …flow!

© Aparna

Voice Matters :

On the cold night of 16th December 2012 watching ‘Life of Pi’ with a friend is a happy moment in a person’s life. Destiny is cruel to turn the next moment into a fatal one, creating a nightmare in every girl’s life.

Nirbhaya case sends a chill down the spine even on a sweltering summer day.

Justice delayed is not justice at all, and it took almost 8years to punish the rapists.

It is not just one incident, we have series of such brutality till date. Sakthi mills case in 2013, Badaun gang rape case in 2014, Unnao rape case in 2017, Kathura rape case in 2018 and Priyanka reddy rape case in 2019 are a few to mention.

Once a girl child is born it is a huge responsibility for the mother to protect her and I have seen mothers like kangaroos carrying their daughters in safe pouches.

We have come to a state where girl child could not be trusted with anyone, as the crime rates are steeply increasing.

 We are talking about feminism, women empowerment, economic independence and so many other things.

We witness women taking up challenging jobs and proving themselves in every field.

But there is a serious question before us  “Are women really safe?”

Have women achieved the desired liberation?

Just because we see women partying, drinking and smoking, that could not be taken as liberation.

Assaulting them on their sexuality is the worst thing in any woman’s life.

Educated and well read men feel that women are free of patriarchal clutches and feminism is not a necessary thing to discuss. People even feel we are overstating things.The sad truth is violence happens to women even now and we have to progress forward in bringing about a change.

Gender based violence mutates and takes up different forms which has to be addressed in literature. Today cyber crimes is another maze into which women are muddled up. 

Should we not address them unless women are really safe in the society

Unless she is not treated as an object.

Unless she has rights over her body.

Registering it and speaking up creates a change though not immediately atleast in near future.

Let us voice our sufferings and create a change.

Let us pave way for our girls to walk with their heads held high.

 © Aparna

CLOSURES

We don’t realise the importance of this simple word, that impacts hugely in our daily lives.

In this impermanent world where all of us are passengers we start our journey with a set of people and end our journey with different set of people.

In between we meet so many people whom we love,bond,hate,hurt,ignore and betray.

We suffer in many relationships which are close to our heart.

We don’t let go and willingly suffer creating displeasure and pain. 

‘Let go’ seems a simple phrase on paper but not in reality.

Sometimes it is better to give clear signals of closure to certain relationships that turns toxic to mental health. 

Relationships not necessarily romantic ones any association or friendships that steals the inner peace need not be tolerated.

There are people who shut down from us for  unknown reasons , we are surprised at such closures.But respect their decisions, try asking them the reason,if they are not responding, take the closure in right sense.

Healthy boundaries are vital to any relationship similarly closure is also an important act to acknowledge.

When the purpose of the relationship is over closure is the solution to open up new avenues in life.

To reach our destination we have to cross closures in life . 

We have to internalise them and include them as a way of life.

 © Aparna

Mertales#Bubble 4

The dream washed away as  waves wrap everything on the seashore. All dreams are swiped off

 leaving a plain vacant land. She woke up and was disillusioned, life looked long and dark as a tunnel. 

She could not decide if she could walk into the tunnel or step into a mire and get lost.

She had a hope that she would find a ray of sunlight at the end of the tunnel.

But hope is just a hope and it is far away from reality. Crowding thoughts in an alien land, tears welled up and she longed for a hand to wipe her tears. But it’s always our hands that could help more than others.

She started her journey as she did not want to give up on life. The time period destined on this planet should be valued. Every second counts as many long for it!

What should be the purpose of life? the thought kept on pouncing her mind.

She sat in a garden swing and tried to silence her mind.

She just saw two beautiful parrots chirping and flying,smile swiped across her face.

She could see a squirrel nibbling on a guava tree, there was a sense of happiness in the air.

Bees swarming and butterflies fluttering tranqulised the pain.

Universe conspires to take care of the wounded soul!

Mertales #Bubble3

The maiden wandered lonely as a cloud in the clear blue sky. She was new to the ways of the land, rules were strange and confusing.

The charm,magic and beauty were not cherished on the littered land. Despised and accused for every action she was petrified.

The heart that was a pristine river was turning  into a muddled pond loaded with resentment.

Weary of the endless complaints she rested under a shady tree for a momentary solace.

In her dreams she heard bands thronging, the scent of myriad flowers lingering in the air with  sounds of  laughter reaching the sky. Fun,feast and frolic filled the place.

She was walking in a snow white wedding gown adorned with pearls and diamonds along the aisle.

Wreath and veil were an addendum  to the impeccable beauty. Star struck she looked at her mate who was walking towards her.

Cosmos was loaded with love that was brimming out of the milky way. Surrealistic was the space, magnetising every speck to witness the rarest sight.

Universe a place of ambivalence is artless to hold the love in abundance!

Mertales#Bubble2

The ocean maiden doused in love, masked her tears and treaded on the terrain mindlessly.

Tears were condensed and turned into pearls, buried into the depth of the soul as memories.

Detaching the pearls may be fatal to her heart.

She lives with those pearls inside her oyster heart.

Oblivious so far in life she started looking around, the people, it was strange for a baby to understand the world once it comes out of the womb. 

She too felt the panic of a newborn but she was not able to cry.

Though she wanted to wail and let out all her pent up emotions,tears failed her like her loved ones.

Grief is not a blanket to be removed as we wake up from the bed. It is in layers and when you think, you are done with it, there is a layer beneath…it is a lifelong process!

Mertales#Bubble 1

Have you ever fallen in love that keeps you completely immersed in the deep blue ocean…where nothing exists?

Only you and your love nothing else. Everything around is blocked or shut!

You swim in bliss!unaware of the destiny!

And one fine day when you are thrown out of the ocean to face the real land.

You could not breathe on land since you belong to the ocean…you have gills and not lungs.

You pant, suffocate,writhe, wriggle for survival.

Death doesn’t embrace you and relieve you from the agony.It smiles at your sufferings and finally you get used to the breathing mechanism on the land.

Land devoid of love and charm…Nothing magical, just mundane even you mask your gills and start developing lungs.

Getting used to ordinary things is a punishment for an ethereal being isn’t it?