Ungendering Emotions

Post for menfolk 😊all voices should be heard 😊

Ungendering emotions

When the term gender is discussed always it is to uphold feminine gender and uplift them from the patriarchal clutches.

Men are victimised too by this conditioning and rarely anyone speaks about their concerns.

When boys grow up they are always taught to be strong, which is not humanely possible.As they grow the piled up fears deep within is buried and they try to pose a brave face in social front. They undergo lot of turbulence by masking their emotions.

In life as we have ebbs and flows where we rejoice and repent in tune with the happenings.During vulnerable moments we breakdown and shed tears which is rather natural and has a cathartic effect. But boys are constantly advised not to cry, thereby curtailed off their mental health.

How could it be humanly possible to remain strong always and not to shed tears ?

If men are treated as human beings the vulnerable emotions are also to be accepted as gender neutral and tears are for all living beings.

Let us not giggle at men who prefer to be househusbands helping their family. 

Normalise men sharing domestic chores, by doing so we could rise more healthy relationships.

Let them cry their heart out and ease away their distress.

Let them not hold their valour every time masquerading reality. 

Fear, loss, grief and stress are to be addressed and not concealed.

As we see women as domestic machines, we have assigned men as money minting machines.

Let us unlearn this assigned role and do what we want in life.

Knight in shining armour to save a damsel in distress is a fairy tale and not reality. Let us rewrite our tales and bring new normal to our society.

© Aparna

Choose wisely!

Body politics

“Mother is an epitome of love and sacrifice “

“When you become a mother you become a complete woman”

What do these statements convey?

So if a woman chooses  not to have a kid then she is not considered a woman!

Like Raymonds make a complete man, such a gullible statement.

Patriarchy rooted deep into the system and women sadly safeguard them not realising that they are the prey to it.

When a young woman gets married and if she could not conceive, she is treated as an untouchable in the family as well as the society.

She shrinks herself by not participating in social events and starts hating the sight of monthly cycle.

Obviously infertility treatment centres, temples, poojas and homams are her resort. In the name of treatment hormones are pumped into her system leading to array of side effects.

Emotional stress, bloating , mood swings , nausea and so many nameless disasters follow the treatment.

In the name of extending the lineage, she suffers mentally and physically.

Register the truth sadly we are not in dire need of a heir to succeed the throne.

Do not exploit your own body for social validation.

Do not validate phrases like “barren women” throw them in garbage.

Stay happy and search for the soul’s calling and live a purposeful life.

Create your own identity, motherhood is not the only one there are plenty on the platter of life.

Unless you feel you need a child do not undergo this traumatic treatments.

Your body, is your right!

Choose wisely!

Live your life Queen size!

Cooking is beyond gender!

 “ Cooking is an art “

“ Cooking is a therapy”

Yes I’m mulling over these statements, how many of them who cook on daily basis will agree to these lines.

Cooking occasionally for guests or trying out innovative dishes could be real fun.

Day in and day out if you slog in the kitchen, Is it an enjoyable chore?

The morning steaming cup of coffee followed by idli, vada, pongal or whatever then once again lunch with sambar, kootu, porial. Evening cup of tea or coffee once again with snacks and to end the day with rotis and subjis.

Typing this elaborate spread for a day is tiring… how about cooking them?Have you ever given a thought how tedious and time consuming is Indian cooking.

The woman who misses an alarm controls nature’s calls to pack food for the family.

And the woman will be criticised for missing the alarm and not seen as a human.The most unthankful job ever.

Rain or shine, good day or bad day,sick or healthy,stressed or happy nothing matters, cooking goes on and on,thanks to Swiggy and zomato that showers care when women in the household is sick.

We could say food is medicine so we are healthy compared to western people and all such stuff.

As we humans evolve in a digital age where women want to excel in their professional front , will these domestic drudgery be shared so that it becomes a labour of love.

In the name of love, sacrifice and motherhood entire life of women is spent in kitchen.Break the mould and normalise sharing the space with everyone at home.

Sharingthekitchen#cookingisbeyondgender#unheedcriticism#

Anecdote of A

Anecdote of A

Angel in the dream

Articulated ways of life

Aware of reality

Address the emotions

Allow them to flow  

Anxiety kept at bay

Accept challenges

Annihilate hate

Alleviate stress

Anchor hope

Agree to cope

Adapt to changes

Adorn a smile

Attitude as a crown

Aspire happiness 

Abundant are the blessings 

Adhere and flaunt !

Trajectory

 Trajectory 

Strange yet true 

Learning, unlearning, relearning happens throughout our journey.It is the way of life.

Promises and words may be precious, treasured and kept safe by some people.

But not everyone will follow the same path.

Many people speak empty words and give false promises.It is naïve to believe and brood later. Gain wisdom to grow out of broken promises and meaningless words.

People may appear to be your closest buddy to the outer world.Real situation exposes the true colours and the nature of the person.

In this little time we have in this impermanent world why to fret over the people who fall out of our life.

Though it said easily than done, but I always remember my favourite poet Robert Frost “good fences make good neighbors “.

Not only social distancing saves us but also emotional distance makes our survival easier.

Stay cautious and alert! Never relive or run through the words you believed to be true!

Words are just words for many…