CLOSURES

We don’t realise the importance of this simple word, that impacts hugely in our daily lives.

In this impermanent world where all of us are passengers we start our journey with a set of people and end our journey with different set of people.

In between we meet so many people whom we love,bond,hate,hurt,ignore and betray.

We suffer in many relationships which are close to our heart.

We don’t let go and willingly suffer creating displeasure and pain. 

‘Let go’ seems a simple phrase on paper but not in reality.

Sometimes it is better to give clear signals of closure to certain relationships that turns toxic to mental health. 

Relationships not necessarily romantic ones any association or friendships that steals the inner peace need not be tolerated.

There are people who shut down from us for  unknown reasons , we are surprised at such closures.But respect their decisions, try asking them the reason,if they are not responding, take the closure in right sense.

Healthy boundaries are vital to any relationship similarly closure is also an important act to acknowledge.

When the purpose of the relationship is over closure is the solution to open up new avenues in life.

To reach our destination we have to cross closures in life . 

We have to internalise them and include them as a way of life.

 © Aparna

Mertales#Bubble 4

The dream washed away as  waves wrap everything on the seashore. All dreams are swiped off

 leaving a plain vacant land. She woke up and was disillusioned, life looked long and dark as a tunnel. 

She could not decide if she could walk into the tunnel or step into a mire and get lost.

She had a hope that she would find a ray of sunlight at the end of the tunnel.

But hope is just a hope and it is far away from reality. Crowding thoughts in an alien land, tears welled up and she longed for a hand to wipe her tears. But it’s always our hands that could help more than others.

She started her journey as she did not want to give up on life. The time period destined on this planet should be valued. Every second counts as many long for it!

What should be the purpose of life? the thought kept on pouncing her mind.

She sat in a garden swing and tried to silence her mind.

She just saw two beautiful parrots chirping and flying,smile swiped across her face.

She could see a squirrel nibbling on a guava tree, there was a sense of happiness in the air.

Bees swarming and butterflies fluttering tranqulised the pain.

Universe conspires to take care of the wounded soul!

Mertales #Bubble3

The maiden wandered lonely as a cloud in the clear blue sky. She was new to the ways of the land, rules were strange and confusing.

The charm,magic and beauty were not cherished on the littered land. Despised and accused for every action she was petrified.

The heart that was a pristine river was turning  into a muddled pond loaded with resentment.

Weary of the endless complaints she rested under a shady tree for a momentary solace.

In her dreams she heard bands thronging, the scent of myriad flowers lingering in the air with  sounds of  laughter reaching the sky. Fun,feast and frolic filled the place.

She was walking in a snow white wedding gown adorned with pearls and diamonds along the aisle.

Wreath and veil were an addendum  to the impeccable beauty. Star struck she looked at her mate who was walking towards her.

Cosmos was loaded with love that was brimming out of the milky way. Surrealistic was the space, magnetising every speck to witness the rarest sight.

Universe a place of ambivalence is artless to hold the love in abundance!

Mertales#Bubble2

The ocean maiden doused in love, masked her tears and treaded on the terrain mindlessly.

Tears were condensed and turned into pearls, buried into the depth of the soul as memories.

Detaching the pearls may be fatal to her heart.

She lives with those pearls inside her oyster heart.

Oblivious so far in life she started looking around, the people, it was strange for a baby to understand the world once it comes out of the womb. 

She too felt the panic of a newborn but she was not able to cry.

Though she wanted to wail and let out all her pent up emotions,tears failed her like her loved ones.

Grief is not a blanket to be removed as we wake up from the bed. It is in layers and when you think, you are done with it, there is a layer beneath…it is a lifelong process!

Mertales#Bubble 1

Have you ever fallen in love that keeps you completely immersed in the deep blue ocean…where nothing exists?

Only you and your love nothing else. Everything around is blocked or shut!

You swim in bliss!unaware of the destiny!

And one fine day when you are thrown out of the ocean to face the real land.

You could not breathe on land since you belong to the ocean…you have gills and not lungs.

You pant, suffocate,writhe, wriggle for survival.

Death doesn’t embrace you and relieve you from the agony.It smiles at your sufferings and finally you get used to the breathing mechanism on the land.

Land devoid of love and charm…Nothing magical, just mundane even you mask your gills and start developing lungs.

Getting used to ordinary things is a punishment for an ethereal being isn’t it?

Inspiring Women Series 1

 Women draw strength from each other during the time of crisis and stand tall emerging out of their ordeals.In a country and society  where women are in a patriarchal clutch, being a successful woman is to be celebrated and appreciated.They are the real role models to get inspiration and face the challenges thrown .The women who inspired me are many and would like to pay tribute to each one of them through my simple writing.Wish to name this series as "Inspiring Women In My Life".

Inspiring Women: 1

Dr.R.Balalakshmi,that is how my mother is known,a doctor ,a gynaecologist,this profession during her time is very rare.She is the fifth child of the family ,has an elder brother,two elder sisters and a younger sister.Her dad passed away while she was in her first year of college.She took care of her mother till her last breath.She supported her entire family to rise up and married very later in her life.Her family her siblings were everything to her and helped them out of her way.She is such a hard worker and could work day and night without rest.Losing her husband within 15 yrs of her marriage did not deter her spirits,she worked relentlessly to be stable in all walks of life.As her only daughter I was treated like a celebrity wherever I went out in my place.The main credit for me in the soceity is being her daughter,though it had its own price which I have to pay.But I'm proud of my mom ,even at the age of 76 she is independent and conducting her own needs.She never resents that she is lonely or she has no one,I admire her courage to stand tall in life though the life has been unkind to her.Love you lots mom!

Lessons learnt: 

Hard work and never die attitude

Ungendering Emotions

Post for menfolk 😊all voices should be heard 😊

Ungendering emotions

When the term gender is discussed always it is to uphold feminine gender and uplift them from the patriarchal clutches.

Men are victimised too by this conditioning and rarely anyone speaks about their concerns.

When boys grow up they are always taught to be strong, which is not humanely possible.As they grow the piled up fears deep within is buried and they try to pose a brave face in social front. They undergo lot of turbulence by masking their emotions.

In life as we have ebbs and flows where we rejoice and repent in tune with the happenings.During vulnerable moments we breakdown and shed tears which is rather natural and has a cathartic effect. But boys are constantly advised not to cry, thereby curtailed off their mental health.

How could it be humanly possible to remain strong always and not to shed tears ?

If men are treated as human beings the vulnerable emotions are also to be accepted as gender neutral and tears are for all living beings.

Let us not giggle at men who prefer to be househusbands helping their family. 

Normalise men sharing domestic chores, by doing so we could rise more healthy relationships.

Let them cry their heart out and ease away their distress.

Let them not hold their valour every time masquerading reality. 

Fear, loss, grief and stress are to be addressed and not concealed.

As we see women as domestic machines, we have assigned men as money minting machines.

Let us unlearn this assigned role and do what we want in life.

Knight in shining armour to save a damsel in distress is a fairy tale and not reality. Let us rewrite our tales and bring new normal to our society.

© Aparna

Choose wisely!

Body politics

“Mother is an epitome of love and sacrifice “

“When you become a mother you become a complete woman”

What do these statements convey?

So if a woman chooses  not to have a kid then she is not considered a woman!

Like Raymonds make a complete man, such a gullible statement.

Patriarchy rooted deep into the system and women sadly safeguard them not realising that they are the prey to it.

When a young woman gets married and if she could not conceive, she is treated as an untouchable in the family as well as the society.

She shrinks herself by not participating in social events and starts hating the sight of monthly cycle.

Obviously infertility treatment centres, temples, poojas and homams are her resort. In the name of treatment hormones are pumped into her system leading to array of side effects.

Emotional stress, bloating , mood swings , nausea and so many nameless disasters follow the treatment.

In the name of extending the lineage, she suffers mentally and physically.

Register the truth sadly we are not in dire need of a heir to succeed the throne.

Do not exploit your own body for social validation.

Do not validate phrases like “barren women” throw them in garbage.

Stay happy and search for the soul’s calling and live a purposeful life.

Create your own identity, motherhood is not the only one there are plenty on the platter of life.

Unless you feel you need a child do not undergo this traumatic treatments.

Your body, is your right!

Choose wisely!

Live your life Queen size!

Cooking is beyond gender!

 “ Cooking is an art “

“ Cooking is a therapy”

Yes I’m mulling over these statements, how many of them who cook on daily basis will agree to these lines.

Cooking occasionally for guests or trying out innovative dishes could be real fun.

Day in and day out if you slog in the kitchen, Is it an enjoyable chore?

The morning steaming cup of coffee followed by idli, vada, pongal or whatever then once again lunch with sambar, kootu, porial. Evening cup of tea or coffee once again with snacks and to end the day with rotis and subjis.

Typing this elaborate spread for a day is tiring… how about cooking them?Have you ever given a thought how tedious and time consuming is Indian cooking.

The woman who misses an alarm controls nature’s calls to pack food for the family.

And the woman will be criticised for missing the alarm and not seen as a human.The most unthankful job ever.

Rain or shine, good day or bad day,sick or healthy,stressed or happy nothing matters, cooking goes on and on,thanks to Swiggy and zomato that showers care when women in the household is sick.

We could say food is medicine so we are healthy compared to western people and all such stuff.

As we humans evolve in a digital age where women want to excel in their professional front , will these domestic drudgery be shared so that it becomes a labour of love.

In the name of love, sacrifice and motherhood entire life of women is spent in kitchen.Break the mould and normalise sharing the space with everyone at home.

Sharingthekitchen#cookingisbeyondgender#unheedcriticism#

Anecdote of A

Anecdote of A

Angel in the dream

Articulated ways of life

Aware of reality

Address the emotions

Allow them to flow  

Anxiety kept at bay

Accept challenges

Annihilate hate

Alleviate stress

Anchor hope

Agree to cope

Adapt to changes

Adorn a smile

Attitude as a crown

Aspire happiness 

Abundant are the blessings 

Adhere and flaunt !

Trajectory

 Trajectory 

Strange yet true 

Learning, unlearning, relearning happens throughout our journey.It is the way of life.

Promises and words may be precious, treasured and kept safe by some people.

But not everyone will follow the same path.

Many people speak empty words and give false promises.It is naïve to believe and brood later. Gain wisdom to grow out of broken promises and meaningless words.

People may appear to be your closest buddy to the outer world.Real situation exposes the true colours and the nature of the person.

In this little time we have in this impermanent world why to fret over the people who fall out of our life.

Though it said easily than done, but I always remember my favourite poet Robert Frost “good fences make good neighbors “.

Not only social distancing saves us but also emotional distance makes our survival easier.

Stay cautious and alert! Never relive or run through the words you believed to be true!

Words are just words for many…